“The greatest damage done by neglect, trauma, or emotional loss is not the immediate pain they inflict but the long-term distortions they induce in the way a developing child will continue to interpret the world and her situation in it”
— Gabor Mate
Simplified Meaning:
When kids experience very difficult times – like being ignored, getting hurt, or losing someone important – it's not just the initial pain that matters. The bigger problem is how these tough times change the way they see the world as they grow up. For example, if a child is often left alone at home, they might start to believe that they are not important or loved. This feeling can stick with them and affect how they build relationships or trust people, even when they become adults. Imagine a child in school who is bullied. The bullying might stop, but the child could grow up thinking that they don't deserve to be treated kindly or that everyone is out to hurt them. This can make it hard for them to make friends or feel happy in a group. To apply this idea, parents and caregivers should focus on reassuring children that they are valued and loved, even after tough times. It's also important to help children understand that bad experiences don't define their worth. Teaching kids to talk about their feelings and seek support can help them develop a healthier view of themselves and the world around them.