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Groucho Marx Quotes

"Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.""Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?""I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.""No man goes before his time unless the boss leaves early.""Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.""I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn’t know.""I have nothing but respect for you and not much of that.""Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.""Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.""I worked myself up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.""I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought, I'd rather dance with the cows until you come home.""You're only as young as the woman you feel.""I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.""I have nothing to declare except my genius.""It is better to have loft and lost than to never have loft at all. ""Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.""He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.""I've got a good mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.""From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.""Why should I care about posterity? What’s posterity ever done for me?"