“When intimacy collapses into fusion, it is not a lack of closeness but too much closeness that impedes desire.”
— Esther Perel
Simplified Meaning:
When two people become so close that they almost lose their individual identities, it can sometimes harm their desire for each other. Think about a couple who has been together for many years. They start to do everything together, share the same interests, and think of themselves almost as one person. At first, this level of closeness feels comforting and secure, but over time, it can actually make their romantic attraction fade. Because they are so intertwined, there’s no mystery or space left for each person to have their own life and individuality, which are important for keeping the spark alive in a relationship. To maintain a healthy desire, both people need a balance; they must stay connected while also preserving their own identities and interests. This way, they can continue to discover new things about each other and keep the relationship exciting.