Witty Quotes

"I intend to live forever. So far, so good." "Listen, everyone is entitled to my opinion" "Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read." "Marriage is a fine institution, but I'm not ready for an institution." "I never forget a face but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception" "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening but this wasn't it" "I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer." "Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes" "My weaknesses have always been food and men—in that order"