George Carlin Quotes
"Somewhere in the world is a doctor who no longer wants to practice medicine, yet still keeps his medical license. Good luck with your next consult.""Swimming is not a sport. Swimming is a way to keep from drowning. That’s just common sense!""There’s a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.""A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.""Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?""When you step on the brakes, your life is in your foot's hands.""The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.""I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that for a while. Maybe this time it'll work.""Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.""May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.""Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.""Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.""I don’t have pet peeves — I have major psychotic fucking hatreds.""One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.""In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.""Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.""There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions. And words.""We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.""If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?""I have certain rules I live by. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me."
