"我是一个有点讲究的厨师。我不太当真。我所有学到的东西都是从电影里学到的。在你和一个人结婚之前，你应该先让他们用一台网速很慢的电脑，看看他们的真实面目。我仍然后悔我没有真正尝试过成为一名职业足球运动员。总是有很多搞笑的压力，但是对我来说，如果我不搞笑，没关系，因为我还是非常帅的。"

Simplified Meaning:

This quote is a mix of humorous and insightful reflections on life. The person is saying they're good at cooking but they don't act overly important about it. They joke that movies taught them everything they know, highlighting how pop culture influences us. A practical piece of advice given is to observe someone's behavior while using a slow computer before marrying them. This is a funny way to suggest that stressful situations reveal true personality traits. The person also shares a regret about not pursuing their dream of becoming a soccer player, reminding us to go after our true passions. Lastly, they laugh off the need to be funny all the time by joking about their good looks, showing they don't take themselves too seriously and find balance in humor. To apply this to life, don't be too serious about yourself but stay true to your talents. Test relationships by seeing how people handle stress, showing their true colors. Don't forget to chase your dreams and passions, and remember to balance ambition with a sense of humor and self-acceptance.