“I’m a bit of a gourmet chef. I don’t take myself too seriously. Everything I learned I learned from the movies. Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are. I still regret that I never really tried to be a professional soccer player. There’s always a lot of pressure to be funny, but with me, if I’m not funny, there’s no pressure, because I’m still terribly handsome.”

Simplified Meaning:

This quote is a mix of humorous and insightful reflections on life. The person is saying they're good at cooking but they don't act overly important about it. They joke that movies taught them everything they know, highlighting how pop culture influences us. A practical piece of advice given is to observe someone's behavior while using a slow computer before marrying them. This is a funny way to suggest that stressful situations reveal true personality traits. The person also shares a regret about not pursuing their dream of becoming a soccer player, reminding us to go after our true passions. Lastly, they laugh off the need to be funny all the time by joking about their good looks, showing they don't take themselves too seriously and find balance in humor. To apply this to life, don't be too serious about yourself but stay true to your talents. Test relationships by seeing how people handle stress, showing their true colors. Don't forget to chase your dreams and passions, and remember to balance ambition with a sense of humor and self-acceptance.