Sarcasm Quotes

"Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it." "Tobacco is my favorite vegetable" "The meek may one day inherit the earth, but not the mineral rights" "As a matter of principle, I never attend the first annual anything" "I'd give my right arm to be... ambidextrous" "After all, what is a pedestrian? He is a man who has two cars - one being driven by his wife, the other by one of his children" "A hard man is good to find." "As usual there is a great woman behind every idiot" "So, what's it like in the real world? Well, the food is better, but beyond that, I don't recommend it" "Sarcasm: the last refuge of modest and chaste-souled people when the privacy of their soul is coarsely and intrusively invaded" "I hate reality but it's still the best place to get a good steak." "I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information." "I have nothing but respect for you and not much of that." "No man goes before his time unless the boss leaves early." "Oh, hello, I know right? Whose balls did I have to fondle to get my very own movie?" "Many a truth is said in jest" "I speak the truth but I guess that's a foreign language to y'all" "I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five" "Don't be humble... you're not that great" "The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not commit adultery, and Thou shalt not lie in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment."