Comedy Quotes

"It's hard to be funny when you have to be clean" "A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five." "One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas, I'll never know." "In California they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows" "I swear, I'm the least funny person on the planet… mgaaaah!!" "The funniest things are forbidden." "You know who wears sunglasses inside? Blind people and assholes." "When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth." "I think my comedy is a bit misunderstood by fellow comedians. " "Comedy is tragedy plus time" "There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you." "I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately" "Humor is laughing at what you haven't got when you ought to have it" "From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it." "I've got a good mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it." "I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive." "A man’s got to take a lot of punishment to write a really funny book" "There are 400,000 words in the English language, and there are seven you can't say on television. What a ratio that is. 399,993 to 7. They must really be bad. They’d have to be outrageous to be separated from a group that large" "Being a comedian is the closest thing to being a rock star." "We participate in a tragedy; at a comedy we only look"