Irony Quotes

"If past history was all there was to the game, the richest people would be librarians" "Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before." "Like getting into a bleeding competition with a blood bank." "Jokes? There are no jokes. The truth is the funniest joke of all." "The truth is rarely pure and never simple." "I can resist everything except temptation." "Newman's first law: It is useless to put on your brakes when you're upside down" "It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it." "I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world." "Common sense is not so common" "Wall Street is the only place that people ride to in a Rolls Royce to get advice from those who take the subway" "Nobody dies a virgin... Life fucks us all" "It costs a lot of money to look this cheap" "The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't fly" "We hurt people that love us, love people that hurt us" "I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens" "Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped" "I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it." "I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member" "Those are my principles and if you don't like them well I have others"