Irony Quotes

"There is something wrong with a society that drives a car to work out in a gym" "Common sense ain't common." "If stupidity got us in this mess, how come it can't get us out?" "There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you." "Humor is laughing at what you haven't got when you ought to have it" "I've got a good mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it." "He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot." "I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury." "If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?" "Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it." "I prefer the company of peasants because they have not been educated sufficiently to reason incorrectly." "There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe and it has a longer shelf life" "Tobacco is my favorite vegetable" "The meek may one day inherit the earth, but not the mineral rights" "May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house." "I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends will call it" "Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children." "Civil war? What does that mean? Is there any foreign war? Isn’t every war fought between men, between brothers?" "I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive." "I suspect people of plotting to make me happy"