Irony Quotes

"I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it." "I can resist everything except temptation" "He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of" "A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five." "I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions — the curtain was up." "I must confess, I was born at a very early age." "To bankrupt a fool, give him information" "I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying." "Life is far too important a thing ever to talk seriously about." "The world is a stage, but the play is badly cast." "No good deed goes unpunished." "You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred" "I don't believe in the afterlife although I am bringing a change of underwear" "I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys" "If you want to make God laugh tell him about your plans" "For a moment, nothing happened. Then, after a second or so, nothing continued to happen." "The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool." "Fate, it seems, is not without a sense of irony" "It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes." "Lord, what fools these mortals be!"