Irony Quotes

"Life would be tragic if it weren’t funny." "In the end, everything is a gag" "Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job" "You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named Bush, Dick, and Colon" "9: In heaven, all the interesting people are missing." "Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television." "The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep." "There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?" "For what do we live but to make sport for our neighbours and laugh at them in our turn" "God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh." "The nice thing about being a celebrity is that when you bore people they think it's their fault" "A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain." "Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes" "Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity" "Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV." "I am so busy doing nothing that the idea of doing anything - which as you know, always leads to something - cuts into the nothing and then forces me to have to drop everything." "As the eagle was killed by the arrow winged with his own feather, so the hand of the world is wounded by its own skill." "I have a lot of beliefs and I live by none of them." "Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies." "She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon."