Satire Quotes

"The meal isn't over when I'm full. The meal is over when I hate myself." "Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies." "Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?" "I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions — the curtain was up." "I remain just one thing, and one thing only, and that is a clown. It places me on a far higher plane than any politician." "In California they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows" "It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes." "Everyone is entitled to my opinion" "The story so far In the beginning, the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move." "I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by." "He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career." "I think that God in creating Man somewhat overestimated his ability." "I bought some powdered water but I don't know what to add" "Four legs good, two legs bad." "You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think" "Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them" "If stupidity got us in this mess, how come it can't get us out?" "There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you." "Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem." "I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately"